Interview with the Nightwatchman.
The time has come to face the music.
Frost/Nixon, Maitlis/Prince Andrew, Brian and Maggie, Gunston/Struthers… momentous interviews are so hot right now.
So, with a hope to get a movie adaption out of this newsletter thing, it’s time for me to face some tough questions… from myself.
Let’s go.
GLENN: Thanks for taking the time to do this interview. Don’t hesitate to stop if you think I’m going too far or you’re feeling uncomfortable.
PETERS: No probs. I’ll be fine. Ask whatever you want.
GLENN: Of course you’ll be fine. You bloody love talking about yourself, don’t you?
PETERS: Geez, that’s a bit rough already. Yes. Of course I do. But I do try to ask questions. I’m not as bad at the one way conversation as other people are.
GLENN: You do talk about yourself a lot. You’re literally doing it now and typing it all out to send to a mailing list. You seem to be a bit of a ‘presenter’, some would say show off. Were you one of those kids who loved Show and Tell?
PETERS: Yes. The few times I did Show and Tell are probably the only things I remember from Grade Prep and Grade One.
I remember in Grade Prep we all had to take turns in telling the class what we wanted to be when we grew up. I can remember my classmates saying things like fire fighter, footballer and cowboy but when it was my turn, I stood up and told everyone that I wanted to be Captain America. I didn’t know what Captain America’s job entailed other than he had a mighty shield, a rocking theme tune and words in all caps and exclamation marks flew out of peoples’ heads when you hit them.
GLENN: I remember that show. It reminds me of egg flip Big M for some reason.
PETERS: There was also a Show and Tell in Grade One when I recounted everything that happens in this music video.
And the next week I boysplained the Mull of Kintyre music video.
GLENN: So you’re saying that every time you’re telling someone about a music video, song or singer/band, you’re that little boy doing Show and Tell at Bayview Primary School.
PETERS: I suppose so. I just looked up the primary school. It was one of the schools Jeff Kennett closed down in the early 90s, the prick.
GLENN: You really don’t like Jeff Kennett.
PETERS: I abhor everything he stood for.
GLENN: You’ve always been into stuff around politics. Why don’t you write about any of that in this Nightwatchman thing?
PETERS: Because there’s nothing I can write to make any sense of any of it here. Over the past few years I’ve found it to be the most boring and futile thing to type about. I might read the papers and listen to news radio and podcasts every weekday but there’s nothing I can type about any of it to be of any use to a reader.
Besides, there’s a lot of awful things happening in the world every day and almost all of it is done by men. I feel like the most useful thing I can do here is write decently about decency and sometimes gently hint where I think we can be a little better.
GLENN: But you wanted to be Captain America when you grew up.
PETERS: Shut up, idiot.
GLENN: You shut up.
PETERS: No you shut up. Can we have a break? I need to go to the toilet.
Joey Ramone’s wonderful mum will make your day.
PETERS: Can I ask you some questions now?
GLENN: Sure, fire away.
PETERS: Now what do you want to be when you grow up?
GLENN: I’m not sure. I’ve never been sure. While I’m fairly good at it, this writing for money thing isn’t sustainable under the current economic and tech climate. Even though the briefs I get are often incredible and people pay me to come up with ideas and write about things I love, the past two years have been too slow to justify continuing with it.
Too many of the writers and creative directors I’ve worked with over the years are saying similar things.
PETERS: What else can you do?
GLENN: Not sure. A few years before ChatGPT arrived, I was interested in what my mate Dave King (not the footballer), was doing when he started an AI agency called Move 37. It looked like something I might have the right sort of brain for.
For a year or so after I was looking into uni courses I could do to be useful in a place like that. The courses I found were more on the engineering side and expensive so I hesitated. Other work and lockdowns happened for a couple of years, and then ChatGPT arrived.
PETERS: And you hate ChatGPT.
GLENN: Yes. I do.
PETERS: What else?
GLENN: I was a stop and go man on the roads many years ago when I was doing uni. I was talking to a stop and go man recently and he told me that he used to be an engineer, then got into business importing stuff. The business went well but it was stressing him out. He went to his accountant who said the business wasn’t making enough money for all the stress so two years ago he started as a stop and go man for engineering projects. He loves it. A lot of the time he just sits in a truck waiting for other trucks to arrive. He reads lots of books at work and makes a little more than the profit he made in business. He still sees his accountant for a beer every now and then. They call his new stop and go man job “Sunny Jail”. He said that to me with a big grin and he meant it 100%. I really admired him.
PETERS: So you’re going to be a stop and go man again?
GLENN: Of course not. I want to be a puppeteer. I did that in a big puppet show once. Is puppeteer a job?
PETERS: No. Those jobs are taken.
RICHARD: This is getting boring. Can we see something funny now?
PETERS: Who are you?
RICHARD: Your middle name.
PETERS: Oh yeah. Okay, let’s have a look at a photo Martha took of your big German head at the ice hockey in Helsinki.
GLENN: Let’s do the rest VFL Football Record style.
PETERS: Good idea. Here’s one I found of Doug Barwick before he came to Collingwood. I’ve heard he sells golf clubs now.
Car: Mondeo
Favorite pastimes/hobbies: Kick to kick, photography, planning robberies
Favorite food: Fish’n’chips
Favorite drink: Limonata
Favorite singer/group: Many and varied from Beatles to Big Star to Nick Drake to Tom Waits, Velvet Underground to The Clash, Alice Coltrane, Debussy or the Cocteaus
Favorite author: Kinky Friedman
Favorite holiday spot: Anywhere you can go fishing
Favorite nite spot: Tipples
Who would you invite to a dinner party: Tom Waits, Greg Davis, Jacky Hoffman, Jon Wurster, Arvo Part, Neil Young, and a bunch of mates (you, reading this!)
Favorite TV show: Sesame Street
Favorite Movie: The Third Man/Groundhog Day
Biggest influence on career: Philip Adams
Most admired sportspeople: Peter Daicos, Tom Hafey, Cathy Freeman
Football superstition: Stay in the rain when it rains. Don’t leave before the siren.
Now, here’s an interview.
GLENN: One last question. Why is it 3:24am and you haven’t finished this yet?
PETERS: I have no idea. Once I start typing, I can’t stop. Happens most weeks. Sure, it’s a bad habit but here we are.
Have you considered teaching? It’s tough, but I like it now after 20 years! Pretty grounding, honest job.
Good to have you back, love that Tom Waits interview, Don Lane show was wild in the 70s,